Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How “Small” Talk Can Add Up To a Big Life
Available for pre-order now
My new book is a celebration of all the wonderful things that can happen when we talk to strangers, including happiness, connection, and learning.
I share the latest psychological research about the barriers to and benefits of talking to strangers, conducted by me and my colleagues.
I also share my personal journey from shy, anxious kid to stranger-talking adult–and lots of #Talking2Strangers stories.
I wrote this book because I find talking to strangers enjoyable, valuable, and meaningful–and I want you to benefit too.
And I wrote this book because I believe that together we can make the world a little more human, a little more kind by simply saying: “Hello.”
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9-Apr | |
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| NOTE: Bookshop.org supports independent bookstores. I also earn a small commission from them, which I will be donating to a social connection non-profit. |
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My story
I love talking to strangers. I haven’t always done this, but I’ve always seen it – my Dad LOVES talking to strangers and seems almost compelled to do it. I found it embarrassing as a kid (“Dad – Why are you bothering people? They don’t want to talk to you!”). But actually, Dad would always get people talking, and usually laughing. Although it must have happened from time to time, I don’t remember him ever getting rejected.
I especially admired my dad’s ability to create these moments of human connection because I was a shy kid. Talking to people made me nervous and tongue-tied. Talking to strangers seemed like something for people like my dad, not something for people like me.
But then…One day, I was on the subway in Toronto (I’m a Canadian now living in the U.K.) when I saw a woman carrying a beautiful cupcake. I had obviously talked to strangers before–there are many times when you have a reason to, or simply can’t avoid it–but this was the first time I remember deliberately starting a conversation with a stranger just for fun. Our conversation started with me asking about her cupcake and ended with me learning that people can ride ostriches! (Not to say that they should.) I was hooked.
Since then I’ve had many adventures #Talking2Strangers and I’ve turned it into a regular practice. One conversation with a stranger planted a seed that grew into a career change and now I’m an Associate Professor of Psychology who studies talking to strangers for a living.
Connect
Email: g.sandstrom (at) sussex.ac.uk
My profile at the University of Sussex
Gillian M. Sandstrom 